Every Other Today

Today I remembered to forget you.
Memories of you once whole, now erased.
Forever.

Today I denounced should.
Fantasies of obligation shrugged away.
Forever.

Today I stepped outside of time.
Impressions of now made loose and present.
Forever.

*********************************************

Today I felt a numb haziness.
Something beyond the powers of caffeine.

Today I felt sedated and compulsive.
The sum of boredom and madness.

Today I felt warm and lonely.
An estimation of humanity and distance.

*********************************************

Today there will be no whispering.

Today there will be no sidelong glances.

Today all judgements will be withheld.

Today all thoughts will be dispelled.

Today and every other today will quake

And rise like a phoenix in your outstretched hands.

*********************************************

Wood Paneling Makes Me Sentimental

Memories return in strange snippets:

The industrial buckle and zipper from my childhood ski boots, stuffed nylon bodies of cabbage patch kid dolls, the web-toed girl at the sleepover party, American strawberry soda and individually wrapped fruit-filled pies, algae-filled ponds and giant cones of ice cream, thrashing about in muddy creeks, mismatched socks, inner tubes speeding down snow-covered hills…

Dreams flood back in similar ways:

Lost skeleton keys in shag carpeting, rickety suspension bridges, black rabid dogs with sleek shiny fur, ghosts of dead grandparents, over-sized above ground pools, barrels of guns, washroom stalls, siblings I never had…

I like the stuff that dreams and memories are made of –

Real and unreal,

Floating in the ether of consciousness,

Making us whole, making us human.

Alphabetical Recommendations: Music (II)

Air
Blonde Redhead
Coltrane (Alice & John)
Dead Meadow
Elevator
Fucked Up
Girls
Hope Sandoval & the Warm Inventions
Iron & Wine
Julie Doiron
Kid Koala
LCD Soundsystem
Marine Girls
Neutral Milk Hotel
Organ (The)
Pavement
Queen
Raveonettes (The)
Suicide
Tobacco
Unknown Mortal Orchestra
Vanilla Fudge
Washed Out
XX (The)
Youth Lagoon
Zombies (The)

Alphabetical Recommendations: Music (I)

Aphex Twin
Black Moth Super Rainbow
Can
Deerhoof
Erase Errata
Frightened Rabbit
Grinderman
Heartless Bastards
Iggy Pop
Joy Division
Kinski
Liars
Morrissey
New Order
Oneida
Parquet Courts
Quasi
Radiohead
Spiritualized
Thee Oh Sees
Uilab
Vaselines
Wolf Parade
Xiu xiu
Yo La Tengo
Zeena Parkins

Now there are years

Upon our first meeting

The glances were stolen

Quick and furtively

Because our images

Were like that of the sun:

Overwhelming warmth and blindness,

Too much and not enough.

Time wears on and passions transform

But now there are years

In a wink, nod, brush of the hand:

A renewal in every exchange.

Flashing grins transcend intimacy,

Lips on skin trace eternity,

And peeling paint and cracked concrete

And cat’s fur and flower petals

And crocheted blankets and antique lamps

Continually sing synchronicity.

I Love You

Can’t

Should

Did

Again, again, and again.

Drug prayer

Angel hair

Coming down the stairs.

Solitude

Sanctuary

Can’t escape myself.

Attitude

Alienate

Gimme mental health.

Glass heart alibi

Cat purr lullaby

Truck stop butterfly

Again, again and again.