FUCK GOLF (for George Carlin)

Let's put on our polo shirts and ankle socks and go golfing.

Let's stand around on the beautiful expanse of green to hit a miniature dimpled ball around.

Let's admire the majestic beauty of the manicured, irrigated and chemically treated lawns.

Let's look out as if we're purveyors of some beautiful kingdom that's sprawled out special--just for us.

Let's feel the soft spongy green swallow up our shockingly white sneakers that children made somewhere.

Let's be bold and ironic and wear ridiculously patterned outfits and outrageous hats that don't even match.

Let's buzz around on a golf cart to properly survey our kingdom and surreptitiously swig on alcohol in cans.

Let's listen to the crack of the iron on that little ball to properly feel powerful and sporty and elite and alive.